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Truth Telling, Resilience & Freedom: I am a Warrior Survivor - by Colette Martin

TRIGGER WARNING: This is personal blog of the authors' s lived experience of perpetrated intimate partner domestic violence. Please read at your own discretion and contact your local support services or a friend.

Photo credit is by the talented professional photographer, Sylvie Mazerolle Check

My name is Colette Martin and I am a survivor and now a warrior of Domestic Violence. First, I’m honoured and proud to be a voice for all survivors in my home province New Brunswick and Canada as a whole. I’m so grateful for the chance to connect with all of the incredible voices and survivors in Australia. I know that 'The W.H.Y. Campaign - We Hear You', is a global Domestic Abuse Awareness initiative, which initially started due to the serve lock downs in Melbourne back in August of 2020, amid the crazy amounts of victims who were

unsafe in their homes due to the sharp rise in Intimate Partner|Gender based Violence. I am a proud volunteer and our goal is #oneyearzerodeaths2025

Here are the Statistics in Canada

Every six days a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner

  • New Brunswick has the highest rate of police-reported intimate Partner

  • Violence Victims in the Atlantic Provinces. More people are killed by their partners In NB than in other Atlantic Provinces.

  • More family-related murder-suicides happen in NB than anywhere else in Canada More than 85 percent of police-reported homicides victims are women.

  • Two-thirds of all NB women killed were living with the accused 70 percent of deaths occurred in small towns and rural areas.

  • New Brunswick is the hardest province in Canada to get information on murder-suicide we need this info to make a difference and change where we went wrong. Educating people is so important. how can we change anything if we know nothing about it?

In my situation I thought I did everything right I kicked him out after seeing him for about 10 months but little did I know or ever thought he would come back to try and kill me 7 months later. That night was the most horrific time of my life. I was put in the police car by mistake. After this was all over he did cut his throat and his wrist and when we saw the police car coming I told him he was done and going to prison so he then dropped the knife, When the police arrived he told them that I was the perpetrator of course, I grabbed it, I just didn’t want him to cut me anymore. I was put in the police car until witnesses told the true story. Then I was transported to the nearest hospital and treated by an amazing Dr that cared for me but the trauma of having to keep the skin alive by stuffing my throat with wet clothes was awful my throat was slit from one end to the other and the Dr did not want me to carry this awful scar the rest of my life so suggested we wait for a specialist to sow my throat. I waited probably 12 hours to be transported to another hospital which was another trauma on top of what I had just suffered this Dr came in and the first thing he asked was what I did to deserve what I got? . Then told me that things like these don’t happen to good girls you know? Then rubbed my face and told me such a beautiful face and what an awful scar I would carry the rest of my life. Why say that to a victim of any kind,I already carried so much and to shame me like that is unthinkable. I carried that shame for 24 years, until I realized it was not mine to carry. I had already been stabbed 37 times my throat slit my legs slashed plus my wrist cut I did not need this on top of it. How can one deal with all this?

He also told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was wasting taxpayer’s money by going back to the hospital. Argued with the EMS said that I had a ride home and that’s where I should be going. There was nothing wrong with me. Three days later I had to return but I was terrified I did not trust him I was scared he would make things worse. I walked into his office he looked at me and said it was gonna get worse and so I asked him why? Why he would talk to me this way? He didn’t know me he didn’t know my story either. He said well it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. That was the end of it I asked to be changed to another Dr. This is what we (victim-survivors) have to deal with

when we tell our truth, this is why we are so scared and not believing us. We need to be heard and believed. I never recognized the red flags because I was never educated on any kind of violence. I only wish I would have had all of this info when I was growing up This is why I started doing this so I can try and prevent what happened to me from happening to anyone else.

I want the Media to call it for what it is, I want to help change the way this horrific subject is perceived. I want it to be called what it is,' Domestic Violence', I want people to hear and believe us. I want everyone to know that this really happens behind closed doors. We are scared we don’t know who to trust because everywhere we turn no one hears us.

My PTSD will be with me for life it’s an awful disease it really changes your whole life I was never able to find a normal job like regular people because of the anxiety and flashbacks. My mission is to help lift up and help change the world one heart at a time. The W.H.Y Campaign -We Hear You, has really changed my life. You know that in the 24 years of being sick I was never able to find a support group to help with this. Volunteering with the W.H.Y campaign is my support group, my tribe and I am so blessed. This subject is Taboo and needs change. We need to talk about it. For me my love of life and willingness to talk about it has really changed my life If we don’t talk about it we are validating the problem. In closing, I would like to Thank Caroline Mc Guinness founder of this incredible life-saving mission and Melissa for noticing me on Instagram Lifesaver of course our team at I love you all.

Thank you to our blog author, volunteer, guest speaker, Colette Martin for your courage, vulnerability, and inspiration to be heard and seen, to shine a light for other warrior survivors.

We would love your support, and feedback and/or if you would like to become a global volunteer like Colette reach out on our contact page on our website www.thewhycampaign/contact or DM on social media platforms.

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