We can all agree that the ‘most intense yet unaware relationship’ we all have is the one with ourselves. No one gave us the guide or manual to control our mind. This made our relationship with ourselves difficult and “hard and comprehend”. Just imagine that for a second. The only entity in the world that we have direct access and control over is the one that we do not know how to organise and control. We are excellent at organizing and controlling things outside of us. Is that not strange?
One of the worst and devastating consequences of an unorganized mind is how we end up “holding onto emotions” without our awareness. We accumulate events and situations from the past to the extent that it starts showing up in the decisions we make, the thoughts we have, the way we react or respond and worst, it starts manifesting on our physical body as a pain or illness. Up until a few years ago, I was not even aware of the accumulation of thoughts and situations my body was holding onto. I realized that though I am inherently a joyous human, my body was in a very rigid state many times. I knew that something had to die to make room for something fresh to grow.
Holding onto anything which is no longer serving us and ideally should be released, leads to not just mental relief but physical repairs as well. Here are few practical ways I personally found helpful to release these feelings and be more aware before accumulating it:
1) Energy Modalities : Due to its success rate, Energy Modalities are becoming increasingly popular. More and more people (including mainstream therapists) are opting widely researched techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) over traditional counselling. It unblocks deeply hidden subconscious patterns and gives you a clear awareness of your motivation behind holding onto things that no longer serves you. The emotional reason behind whatever it is you are holding onto—food cravings, body pain, fears & phobias etc—surfaces and shows up in your conscious mind for you to let go off it. A neck and shoulder pain which I’ve had for 6 years was released in a single and it was the most amazing feeling ever! And the pain never came back because I let go off feeling of hurt and resistance that I was holding onto (unintentionally) for many years. It was an eye opener to say the least.
2) Involve your rational mind : It is best to involve your rational mind after you are better aware of your subconscious pattern as mentioned above. Otherwise, nothing changes. Your rational mind is likely to go back to victim mode. This is why a conscious awareness of your deeply rooted patterns and feelings are so important. Practice being aware when your emotions take over. Develop skills that help your rational mind to step in so that you can analyse and see more clearly what the reason behind the emotion is before it surfaces and gets thrown at someone else. I journal a lot and it is small, daily investments like these that build my emotional resilience. As Tim Bilyeu puts it “Life has a way of laying it on you day after day. Make sure to protect your emotional self, with your rational self.”
3) Talk to people who gives perspective and not advice: Many of our friends grab the chance to give an advice (with all good intentions). They are the ones to stay away from when you need an emotional release. However, that one friend you have who just wants to listen to you silently and ‘help you reflect on your own’ is a rare gem. They are pure gold. Talk to them as often as possible. Notice how you reason yourself out and fight your way out of your closed feelings by just listening to yourself ranting. Meanwhile, your friend really just listens, empathises and gives you a perspective AND NOT AN ADVICE. A perspective is the miracle formula to come up with your own custom-created solution to your problem. Not all friends are capable of this. If you have one, keep ’em close.
4) Give life to the knowledge within you: Sometimes, what you have hoarded is just a tremendous load of perspective, knowledge and wisdom. It is not innate within human nature to hold onto things of value only to ourselves. Remember that anything of value (I don’t mean just money value but also something that has wisdom) has an energy of its own and it will start getting chaotic inside of you till you give it a shape and form that someone else can absorb and imbibe. Hence, taking action to give your knowledge and wisdom a life and form of its own is your duty. This can be in the form of a service, a story through a video or an article or a kind word to a random person.
5) Involve in any physical movement: The most cliched and undeniably powerful form of release is any form of having body movement. I do not mean just exercise. Movement of any kind that can get your lymphatic drainage system moving is the core of release. Anything that organizes and improves your breathing helps release emotions.
6) Give time a chance: As wise men say, time heals. However, be aware that time will not resolve the things where your action was required. What I found interesting was that, no matter what, there is a bit of karma you have to go through (like a period of sadness, depression, jealousy, resentment, illness or unwillingness to forgive) before you come to the point where you are ready to let go off it. I really do not know how time decides that “Yes, today’s the day for your release.” All I know for sure is that, something unknown out there gets you ready to take the decision to “let go off it forever” in a moment; after endeavoring it for so many years.
Each time the process of letting go is complete, you will feel the shift in your body. You literally feel the weight of the burden gone and you may feel a bit dizzy and confused. You start feeling the most positive void you ever felt. The feeling is priceless.
Image credit: Instagram: @twilight_sanctum
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