Walking out and walking away from abusive relationships and spaces have to be a reinforcement that you have to tell yourself, and this applies to each one of us. This is something that one has to keep repeating, so that you are prepared – if and when the situation just pops up and you act immediately.
The question that everyone should be asking one’s own self and each other is –
Why don’t people walk out of abusive relationships?
Why do people wait till there is no return?
Why don’t parents and guardians encourage their daughters to simply leave if they find life in an relationship unbearable?
For instance, if we don’t like a particular outfit, or a dish, don’t we make sure we don’t use it the next time. If you walk into a crowded space, or if the music is loud, or a movie is really lousy, we walk away, right? If you don’t like a particular job, or if a particular situation becomes unbearable, you either look for change or walk out? Then why do people try to adjust or why are they advised at times to look the other way?
I am referring to three recent incidents in my part of the world where three young girls were found dead in their homes.
Let’s call her V. Her family said she suffered both physical and mental torture from her spouse. Even thought it appears that she had informed her family about it, she continued to stay on in the same house, where ultimately she was found dead. Another young girl A died due to burns and young S was found hanging in the house.
All these girls were found dead. No one really knows what happened. Why did these young and educated girls continue to stay on in their homes if they were physically and mentally tortured? Why didn’t they raise an alarm in public? Why didn’t the family of these young girls see ‘red’ when the girls started complaining of harassment?
We need to ask these questions several times over, and create safe spaces for women to walk out if they are threatened. We need to bring about a mindset change through education that marriage is not the ‘be-all’ and ‘end-all’ of a woman’s life. There is more to life than just being at the receiving end – physically and mentally.
These three deaths in quick succession seems to have shaken the conscience of the community. Will this activism be short-lived or pave the way for a change in mindset?
The Dying Embers
There was a spring in her step
And sunshine in her smiles
There was a sparkle in her eyes
And music in her laughter
She flitted around like a butterfly
And called it ‘The End’ by the end of the day.
A tribute to the three young girls who died in the last days in my corner of the world.
On behalf of We Hear You - The W.H.Y. Campaign Team, we honour each of these women's lives with every voice we raise, and for every woman who finds her safe space. R.I.P.
Photo Credit by: Blue Morpho Butterflies @tropicalbutterfliesuk